Are you ready for The Question, “Is Santa Claus Real?”

It’s here parents, that challenging time of the year when you have to deal with the most difficult philosophical question any parent ever faces. Your darling little progeny that you have protected from the sun with 12 layers of SPF 300 sunscreen, you protected from violence by secretly burning all of your Three Stooges videos in the middle of the night and you inspected every raisin in her cereal to make sure there weren’t any stems to hurt those pearly white teeth, asks you, “The Question!” “Daddy, Mommy, is Santa Claus real?”

The first time you hear the question you try to remain calm, hoping your little dumpling doesn’t see the sweat on your brow. Think! Quick! What do you do? An idea comes to mind, “Hold on Lamb Chop, Popsy has to do something right now.” You slowly turn and walk away, your pulse quickening, hoping she doesn’t follow you. You keep walking out the door, even though it’s 12 degrees and you don’t have a coat on. You close the door and look back. She isn’t following you! Whew! You sneak around and look through the window. She’s watching TV. Yes! Yes! It worked. It’s likely she has forgotten about The Question! You go back in, your shirt frozen to your skin, but you don’t mind. It’s so worth it to not have to deal with “The Question.”

But now you’re on edge. You had hoped that you didn’t have to be the one to deal with this. Where’s that bratty little know-it-all neighbor kid when you need him? So you begin to think through what you’re going to say. You thought you’d have more time. After all, she’s only 15. Then you get an idea. Search the web! Surely there is a good answer. You type in “how do you tell your child there is no Santa” and hit enter. You look at the screen and freeze. You realize you were typing too fast and instead of “Santa” you typed “Satan”. For the first time you notice both names have exactly the same letters! They’re just rearranged. Then the thought slowly creeps into your mind, is Santa really Satan?

Your mind starts to drift. Some long hidden memories start to fill your mind. Even though you haven’t thought about it in years you remember the first time you sat on Santa’s lap as a kid. It was horrible. He was so scary looking! You cried! You clung to your mommy’s leg but she pushed you off! She made you sit on his lap! Couldn’t the adults see what you were seeing? Had this big red monster put them in a trance and blinded them so they didn’t see how frightening he was? You remember thinking “What did I do wrong? Why I am being punished by having to go near this scary creature?” And his breath smelled like smoke. Doesn’t Satan live in hell where there is smoke and fire?

You sit there quietly for a minute. You know there’s no such thing as Santa. Why do so many people lie and say he’s real? Isn’t Satan the father of lies? Yes, the Bible says he is John 8:44. But then again, many people say Satan isn’t real. Hmm. The Bible clearly teaches that Satan is real Revelation 12:9, so you don’t have to think long about that one. Even if Santa isn’t Satan, we shouldn’t lie and tell our kids that Santa is real. Okay, you’ve settled that. How do you tell her?

You go back to your computer and type in “how do you tell your child that there is no Santa” and hit enter. AHHH! 55,700,000 results! I’m sure there’s a good answer in there somewhere. (Here’s one good answer.)  Actually, you just go tell her the truth.

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How did you deal with this question as a parent? Please leave a question or comment below.